Silence

I go crazy sitting here,
Wishing,
Hoping,
Waiting,
Sometimes hesitating,
Dreaming while I'm bleeding inside,

I sit here and I
Wish,
I hope,
I ponder,
Wondering how much longer
I must sit here,

I sit here and
I think,
I hope,
I wait,
Never to escape
This feeling that I hold,
But is it all inside
Or is it in my mind.
Did life not stop and I've been left behind,
The answers you do not know,
But I can not show
My frustration I hold inside,

So I sit,
I hope,
I wait,
Till the silence it does break,
And the freedom comes pouring inside,
I sit as time flys by,
I never wonder why
I am sitting here again,

Do you sit and ponder,
And wonder how much longer,
Or even how long it has been,

Do you close your eyes and see what I see,
A vision of exticy
If only you could let it in

Patience

I can't sit here with this feeling,
This feeling inside,
It's killing me slowly,
And tormenting my mind,
Not knowing what to hope for,
Or if you will be there in the end,
It's a feeling that I yearn for,
Is no longer my friend,

I hide,
I mask,
I sugar coat the top,
Trying just to satisfy this feeling,
This knot,
But yes it still does linger,
As a whisper in the wind,
Wondering if what I have hoped for,
Will happen in the end,

I sit here in this torture,
My heart just torn in two,
Sitting here with patience,
What is the next move,
I'm sitting here in silence,
But the walls they feel so close,
For when I hear the whisper,
I also see its ghost,

I hide,
I mask,
I sugar coat the top,
Trying just to satisfy this feeling,
This knot,
But yes it still does linger,
As a whisper in the wind,
Wondering if what I have hoped for,
Will happen in the end,

No control,
Only fear
Of what is next to come,
Just hoping,
Just praying I'm not the only one,
These answers,
These questions,
Not now
you can not say,
Still hoping,
Still dreaming,
I just hope there is a day,
It's out there,
Just somewhere waiting for my heart,
To love it,
To take it,
So it never falls apart,
To mend it,
To treat it from going insane,
To help it,
Not hurt it,
It's been through all the pain,
To show it
When broken you can still be saved,

I hide,
I mask,
I sugar coat the top,
Trying just to satisfy this feeling,
This knot,
But yes it still does linger,
As a whisper in the wind,
Wondering if what I have hoped for,
Will happen in the end,

My heart it just dangles
Only by a thread,
Close my eyes and wonder
As I lay here in bed,
Silence has no sympathy
For the broken and afraid,
No one shred of empathy
As you try to be saved,
So as we play this symphony
A sad song as it may,
If you sit and hope for it
Maybe someday it will change,

I hide,
I mask,
I sugar coat the top,
Trying just to satisfy this feeling,
This knot,
But yes it still does linger,
As a whisper in the wind,
Wondering if what I have hoped for,
Will happen in the end,

Crumble

The words crumble in my fingers
As I try to write them down,
Feeling like I'm screaming out
Without making a sound,
I try to write the words
But I can't think of what to say,
Indescribable feelings of grief and pain,

Confusion about everything I know,
This illusion,
Putting on a show,
But I'm losing
When I try to play this game,
I've been bruising
From everything you say,

I remember this word that was once called love,

No direction for affection,
Just natural as if you are one,
Hand to hand,
Face to face,
Bliss by no other word,

This feeling is daunting,
As it's haunting,
Just to feel this way

As I try to put the words to a page
They seem to slip away,
As I ponder on this word
That was once called love