Living a life with instability
Is like trying to be God and walk on water,
Impossible,
To not feel like you know what will come
What to expect
Leaves uncertainty,
Insecurity,
Inferiority,
Broken,
Sometimes I feel like I'm drowning in a puddle
Everyone around me screaming
It's so easy just stand up,
With that voice inside
Saying just give up,
It's not fun this feeling I have,
Felt this way for so long,
Being told I was dealt good cards,
But the game I don't understand,
Tip toe threw life
As if trying to balance a see-saw
But alone,
We are told to have direction
Told to make a plan,
But what if what you work for
Does not want to hold your hand,
It's like feeling like a hamster running in place,
Going nowhere and taking up space,
Feeling not important,
Or worth what other are,
Because in this life
You have not gone far,
Sitting holding witness to others live there dreams
Seeing what you wished for in others eyes gleam
Asking
What about me,
I imagine holding a twenty two to my temporal side,
I imagine tying a noose from a beam so high,
I imagine driving my car into something hard
So it's instant in seconds with nothing left to regard,
Sitting in life I feel alone,
By myself to depend on no one,
Depression I feel creeping inside
Feeling it's honestly not worth
The pain
The torment
The time
If I were someone else I would be loved for who I was
But I'm not and I can't change that
I give up because everyone does
It's the pressure
The fear
I'll always be alone
Damned
Doomed
Forever more
For this I feel alone
